Thinking, about Thinking

Oh it’s a constant, the thoughts about themselves. The following is an excerpt from my travels.

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I tend to just absorb, I let things come in, I let so much come in that I don’t know where I end or begin. But of course my ego is invested here because I identify so deeply with my thought. With my awareness. My sensitivity is endless. I could sit still with a grain of sand for eternity, and never fall tired of the depth of my sense. Of that one grain of sand. Of the body that observes it. 

So even now, this is my dilemma. I am so absorbed by the sensation of myself. Life in this form of awareness is private, it’s isolate, warm and comfortable. Doesn’t matter how cold you are, this space is the warmest body you have. 

Mind you that your mind is the most present aspect of yourself, your mind and your spirit. You are more self focused than most. But what do you actually “do”? What do you do about it? About the thoughts that you have? And so forth? *Well, why are you trying to paint the picture that I am not doing anything about it? Why is your first judgement always to criticize? To see the fault in something, to tell yourself that you’re not doing anything about it. You don’t have to believe that you’re never enough. But it’s like that what’s you feel - you’re waiting til you succeed or meet that goal (every single day) for you to feel accomplished, or good about yourself. But you’re missing the whole piece of loving yourself when you set boundaries to that self love. I’m glad you learned this so young, we’ve really made sure that you have the access to this type of knowledge, because you need to care for yourself first and foremost. 

You are meant to understand so much about this experience, about this mind. Remember that it is prone to criticism, and you can remember that it is bound to be able to get better. That you will get better at listening to it. You will get better at moving through your awareness. You will get better at moving through the world okay. Please trust me, you’re starting anew.

That’s a big deal, you’re going to face a lot of strangeness and oddity.

You’re losing your mind, and that’s okay…

Because you’re finding a new foundation, ridding yourself of what no longer serves you, because your wisdom is leading you through your experience.

Your wisdom guides you. Your wisdom is the light that shapes the form of your experience, and shows you what you can move through. It’s your knowledge, too, that acts as the restrictors. The parts that come in to say what is and is not possible, the strictness of a hardened term. 

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